Quick FYI! The Jason Project will be broadcasting live, interactive Q&As with marine biologist Emma Hickerson today, April 7th at 10:30, 1:30, 4:30, and 6:30 (Eastern)
At least one of my kids will be attending at 4:30.
April 07, 2011
March 22, 2011
March 14, 2011
GUEST POST: A Fair and Sustainable World in Englewood, New Jersey
In a world where the words green, sustainable, and fair trade are being used more frequently, it helps to know more about these terms in order to explain them to our children. With more people like entrepreneur Cynthia Thek putting these concepts into practice, we can be hopeful that sustainable living will one day make our planet a cleaner, more equitable place for all. Guest poster Dina Mustafa, working toward her Masters in Sustainability Management at Columbia University and The Earth Institute, has interviewed Cynthia and written an article about the admirable goals behind her business. Today, I'm sharing it on Nuggets of Knowledge:
A Fair and Sustainable World in
Englewood,New Jersey
An interview with Cynthia Thek, the owner of “It’s a Fair World After All” in Englewood, New Jersey.
It was a cold February afternoon when I walked into the store for the first time. Cynthia Thek was going through boxes with her assistant. The first thing I noticed after taking the few steps and entering the store was the distinct smell. It was the soothing fragrance of wood, incense and something I couldn’t quite put my finger on, until I got closer. It was chocolate.
In the store I noticed the hand knit scarves, the jewelry, the beautiful carved pieces, the coffee and chocolate display, the handmade soups, and the dazzling colors. Cynthia Thek, the owner of the small fair trade store “It’s a Fair World After All” on 31 N. Dean Street, in Englewood, NJ 07670, is a petite woman with a warm smile and intelligent dark eyes. Her passion for fair trade and sustainability radiates from every corner of the store. We went for a walk to the local tea place down the street, where the owner greets us with a smile. Cynthia Thek is a local merchant in this small town that has been hit hard by the recession. She wants to organize a Green Englewood Day in the spring, to attract socially aware customers to the area and boost business for local merchants. The two women exchange greetings and talk a little about the town’s well being.
After ordering a hot cup of tea and a slice of pound cake, I asked Thek how she got into fair trade. She said, “Growing up, I was always conscious of the dichotomy between the first world and the developing world. I was born in Germany, where my parents worked and lived at the time. I was sent back to a rural fishing village in the south of India. There, I attended a Catholic School in the state of Kerala on the Arabian coast, yet every year I would travel back to Germany for summer vacation. I felt lucky and guilty at the same time. I knew girls in the village who couldn’t go to school; I was truly one of the lucky ones.”
Thek went on to attend American University (AU) in Washington DC where she said that a lot of her peers where socially conscious and very much into public service. “They really wanted to make a difference in the world, so by the time I graduated I was more socially aware. My background and where I came from also fueled my awareness.” She smiled when remembering her political aspirations after graduation, “I she realized early on that it wasn’t for me” she said shaking her head “So I switched to the non-for profit sector after that and worked at International House in New York City, I was the Assistant Director of Development for Institutional Giving”. International House was conceived by the late YMCA official Harry Edmonds following a chance encounter with a lonely Chinese graduate student in 1909, in New York City. The mission of International house is to promote cross-cultural exchange among future global leaders; this was a perfect fit for Cynthia.
“After a trip with my friends to California, I came across this little fair trade store in Sonoma. That was it; I fell in love.” I heard the excitement in her voice when she said that, even through her professional demeanor. “I came home and read up about the fair trade movement, and was pretty convinced that everything I buy from that day on had to be fair trade. But there was nothing around here [in the northern New Jersey area]. So, I decided to open up my own place.”
What does fair trade mean to Cynthia? For her, fair trade “means that the people both at the producer end and the consumer end are treated fairly.” She continued to explain “Farmers, for example, decide democratically how to invest their revenues. Fair trade premiums are invested in social and business development projects, and producers or farmers use environmentally sustainable methods, for the well being of the environment, but mostly for the well being of the workers.
I asked her how she knows if the products are in fact fair trade. She replied, “When I first started, I found out that there was a lot of controversy about fair trade products. Some can have as little as 2% of their total content coming from fair trade sources, but are still labeled fair trade. For me, I only go through the certification agencies.” I pressed her for those agencies. She added “For commodities there’s Fair Trade USA, and in terms of the products I carry in my store, the Fair Trade Federation monitors the producers and the whole sellers. So, I only go through vendors who are members of the Fair Trade Federation.”
But is fair Trade sustainable?
“Environmental sustainability is a key component of the standards established by the Fair Trade Federation. The Federation and TransFair USA do not certify products that do not meet environmental standards. The Fair Trade Federation refuses admission to organizations that do not uphold this principle. Fair Trade products are frequently made from materials that are abundantly available. The simplicity of the production process also guarantees significantly less CO2 emissions compared to factory-based productions. So, the two go hand in hand.”
“Fair trade flowers, for example, use less pesticide and less chemicals, because they need to ensure that the workers working and cultivating the flowers are given safety equipment and training and are in a healthy work environment,” said Thek. “Do you know that a large percentage of the flowers imported in the United States come from Ecuador and the Dominican Republic and that mostly women work in those fields?” she asked “In some farms, there were high incidences of miscarriages among these women, because of their exposure to harmful chemicals. These women don’t complain because if they do, they can lose their jobs. Usually, that’s the only income that they have.”
She continued to explain that fair trade flower companies must meet certain criteria. The fair trade flower certification ensures that flower farms comply with rigorous environmental standards governing the use of pesticides, conservation of water, treatment of wastewater, protection of ecosystems and more. “So, you see” she added “they protect the cultivators and workers from being exposed to these harmful chemicals.”
Since there is always the question of paying more for fair trade products, I asked if fair trade products compete in price with non fair trade products, “It depends on what the product is” she explained. “With commodities, especially coffee and chocolate, you’ll see a premium because there’s a guaranteed minimum fair price that’s been paid to the farmer. But with other products, such as crafts and hand-made products such as the ones sold in my store, most of the time that’s not the case.”
We make our way back to the store after saying “good-by” to the owner of the tea shop.
I noticed that a lot of the products in her store have a story. Walking around, she tells me a few, “We work so hard to get these products sold, but when you’re buying them you know that, for example, someone in South Africa is able to support her children and that makes a difference.”
“I used to carry coasters from South Africa. They were made out of used tea bags. These women collect them, dry them and paint them, and then they make them into coasters and bookmarks and so on. The whole seller forwarded me a letter from one woman in the group. Her husband works in a gold mine and she’s the one who takes care of the children and sends them to school. She started working for the group making the tea bag products. She wrote in that letter, “When I hear the sound of rain on the roof [tin roof], it’s the most beautiful thing to me, because then I know that I’ve been able to provide shelter for my children.” You see, that came from her work; from supplementing her husbands’ income. A lot of the time the woman’s income makes a difference in being able to pay for doctor visits and sending the kids to the school.”
Looking around, I see that lot of the products in the store are sustainable. They are made of things that would usually end up as garbage, but are reused or crafted into something else. There were little hand bags from India made of old VCR tapes. The actual tape is woven and made to give sheen to this beautifully handcrafted bag. Cynthia walks me around the store telling me stories behind this piece of jewelry or that bowl. I ask her if the story sells the product. She says “I don’t need a sexy story to sell these products. As long as I’m comfortable that the product comes through fair trade resources, I can sell it.”
I caught a glimpse of a small brass- colored peace dove necklace on a thin black rope. I pick it up and read the word “peace” on it. The tag on it read “Cambodia.” Cynthia was standing by me, and said “After the war in Cambodia, the landscape was littered with bullet casings and unexploded bombs. The Halo Trust Agency helped make the landscape safe by collecting these casings and shells. Young people have the ability to gain skills by transforming bomb casings and bullet casings into these piece doves in order in to sustain a living.”
One bullet-casing peace-dove necklace- Sold.
Tardigrades on Parade
Today is the day that my daughter will fall hopelessly in love with a tardigrade. I'm rather sure of it. You might, too. Take a look at the videos and images on this elementary school's tardigrade information site.
Tardigrades are otherwise known as water bears, invertebrate creatures that are less than a millimeter long and can be found on land, in fresh water and in the ocean. Although...if ideal living conditions are not met, this creature (available in 700 different species!) can throw itself into suspended animation. In this way, it can survive being dumped in anything from alcohol to radiation! It can dry up due to lack of water and later regenerate when water is available.
To learn more about tardigrades, visit the
list of links offered by Microbial Life Educational Resources.
Love 'em? Apparently, water bears are now available as plush Teddy Bears you can snuggle with...making sleeping conditions just right!
Willow Gabriel and Bob Goldstein, http://tardigrades.bio.unc.edu/
Art Meant to be Shared
Looking back on parenting--so far--I would have to say that some of my most fun moments are when my family creates art together. Mind you, not one of us is anything close to a professional artist. My son shows artistic talent, but he relegates it to comic-book type characters and scenes for the most part. Since we aren't a bunch of Van Goghs...(although, I swear my daughter almost lost her ear sticking her head between two bars on the stair railing at age two) ...we create art without expecting anything!
Some of our projects:
A family handprint portrait:
Two summers ago, we had the best time out in the backyard. Dressed in old clothes, we tried our hands at creating a Jackson Pollock. Not sure where more paint wound up--on the canvas or on us. Before we painted, we glued rocks, a couple of nails, and other do-dads on the canvas.
My favorite site for art projects is one I have mentioned before: Art Attack! Mandy and I were inspired to create a fun little guy for who we would love to find the time to create a friend!
Want to bookmark a great site for crafting with kids? Try The Crafty Crow!
Have some fun ideas to share with others? Please pass them on!
February 04, 2011
GUEST POST: Disposable Trays...What I Have Learned from my Children
For those of you who have children in school, concepts such as recycling, saving energy, going green, and environmental factors have probably been taught to your children. However, are such concepts always demonstrated by these institutions? My good friend Dina Mustafa, working toward her Masters in Sustainability Management at Columbia University and The Earth Institute has written an op-ed piece regarding the discrepancy. Today, I'm sharing it on Nuggets of Knowledge:
Disposable Trays...What I Have Learned from my Children
By: Dina Mustafa
I have three kids, in three different schools in the same town in New Jersey. Mariam, 14 attends Westwood Junior High School. Muhammed 11, attends Westwood Middle School, and Noor 6, the baby in the family and she’s in Kindergarten.
Every month I get the lunch calendar from the school district and look through for any healthy options. Most of the time the food offered is junk with the occasional salad or vegetable chili. Even with my work schedule and the day to day craziness of a typical family, I’ve always tried to send them off with a well balanced lunch box instead of depending on the school lunch. There are days however, when I’ve had to just close my eyes and hand over the money for a school lunch because life can’t always be well planned.
When I started writing this piece, it was going to be about the nutritional value of the school lunch program, a subject that has been at the forefront of many school board discussions. It has even gotten significant media coverage lately.
I mentioned this to my oldest daughter, Mariam, who looked at me and said, “Mom, but what about the trays?”
“What about them?” I replied
“Do you remember the petition I had everyone sign last year?” she asked "At least we have salads sometimes, but we throw away the trays, so I wanted them to change that. They used reusable trays before, didn’t they?”
My 14 year old was more aware than I was. This embarrassed me and made me proud at the same time. Our conversations lead me to research the problem of the disposable Styrofoam tray used in schools.
PHOTO: KAI HENDRY
To understand the impact of the problem, we have to first understand the danger of Styrofoam. Unlike the old days when many school cafeterias offered reusable trays, the early 1990s saw a rising trend in the United States to provide students with disposable polystyrene (trade name: Styrofoam) trays that are used once, typically for less than 30 minutes. From there, most of the trays end up clogging landfills or posing a litter problem. Polystyrene, is impossible to compost, difficult to recycle and is one of the predominant features of litter-filled beaches, and trash-based oceans. The EPA report on solid waste named the polystyrene manufacturing process as the 5th largest creator of hazardous waste. The National Institute of Standards Center for Fire Research identified 57 chemical byproducts released during the combustion of polystyrene foam. The process of making polystyrene pollutes the air and creates large amounts of liquid and solid waste.
That night I sat with my kids and tried to estimate how many Styrofoam trays are being thrown out each day, and in each school year, within our school system alone. This is what we came up with.
There are approximately 2000 children in our school system, and about 75% buy lunch. These numbers include underprivileged children who are offered a free lunch and children who have working parents to whom a school lunch makes the morning routine easier. This means that about 1,500 trays get used each day. With a 180 day school year, my small town school system contributes 270,000 Styrofoam trays to landfills each year. According to the grassroots group SOSnyc.org and earthresource.org, 850,000 Styrofoam trays are trashed in New York City public schools every day. At 80 trays per foot, the daily stack is two miles high, 8.5 times the height of the Empire State Building.
Looking at these numbers made me think of what the school is teaching my kids. On one hand, even my youngest one comes home from school with slogans like “Reduce, Recycle, and Reuse”. The kids are the recycle police at my house and are always more vigilant then my husband and me. I’ve learned from them just as they’ve learned from their schools; to be aware of what they throw out, to close the faucet when brushing their teeth and switch off the lights when leaving the room. Yet these same schools don’t practice what they preach. How then can children understand the gravity of the situation, when the same school that teaches them to respect their planet encourages them to throw it away?
I’m now even more proud of my daughter for putting together the petition, and for having the ability to see the future of her planet in a disposable tray.
February 03, 2011
The JASON Project... In a word: "Wow!"
So...I just tried to build a design for a roller coaster. There are countless people in the world who have benefited tremendously from me NOT going into that line of work. My cars slowed at the top of a loop-de-loop. They crashed coming to a stop. At one point they didn't even make it up the first hill and started skidding backwards and...well, if this had been a rated "M" video game, the whole deal would have gotten rather messy. Still, the fun I had was spot on! Can't wait to challenge the kids with this today!
The roller coaster creation game was just one tiny morsel of what The JASON Project has to offer. I LOVE this site. And it's not just because my nephew/godson's name is Jason, either. No, The JASON Project is an AMAZING example of what can be done when someone gets a real thrill out of pumping kids up with a love of learning. In this case, that "someone" comes in the form of a joint effort between Sea Research Foundation and National Geographic and was founded by Dr. Robert Ballard (the guy who found Titantic, among other discoveries.) JASON seeks to education students by connecting them (virtually and physically) to researchers and scientists. The curriculums are designed for teachers to use in classrooms, or for parents to introduce at home. It's one of those sites that you have to see for yourself, especially if your kids enjoy science. You will find subjects such as tectonics, weather, storms, energy, ecology, and motion taught interactively via videos, digital labs, games, interviews with experts.
Registration is free, as are curriculum packages, provided you download them.
By the way...it took me six tries to put my coaster together without incident. Think you can do better? Let me know how you did!
Pets and Future Vets
You can't help but learn something when you have a pet. We have three...none of which were a "Yay! Let's get one!" of my choice. What do I really want? A cat. A nice, fuzzy furball to snuggle with on the couch. But, one of my children is allergic to cats, so that's out. Our first and last experience with a dog still haunts me. We adopted two-year-old Lucy from an animal shelter because we wanted to rescue a dog. While incredibly sweet, she was outrageously neurotic and must have been treated badly in the past. We couldn't leave her alone without her howling and sqwuaking (that's right, sqwuaking) for the entire time we were gone. Also, she had a habit of clawing at my stomach (I was pregnant with my second). We started to get nervous about her interacting with our 3-year-old. After 8 months and a lot of tears and guilt, we ultimately gave her away to my in-laws friends, who had another dog and that seemed to help her tremendously. She now lives in Orlando and while her story has a happy ending, I still feel awful that we couldn't make it work.
So, of course, all my daughter wants in life is a dog. Never mind that she's terrified of them in person. Specifically, she wants a pug. She writes books about pug care. She papers her room with pugs. She insists she would clean a pug's wrinkles if she had one. All I want to do is get her one. However, the cost and the fact that we aren't home enough, make it impossible at the moment.
So...we have an albino okeetee corn snake named Ricki and two parakeets named Weasley and Dobby. The snake is Kyle's, Weasley is Amanda's, and Dobby is mine simply because Weasley seemed lonely. We let Kyle talk us into Ricki five years ago...."Mommy! I'm a boy who needs a pet!" I let my husband talk me into allowing Amanda to buy Weasely. I am NOT a fan of birds in cages, but I gave in on the condition that we train the bird to come out and play. Well, Weasley didn't want to come out and play. Six weeks of sticking my hand in that cage, many times a day, to hand train her and by week five, she had had enough. She started to bite me. Hard. She glared at me. She turned her back, then whirled around to eat my fingers. After two weeks of getting bitten, I gave up. Two weeks later, Weasley got Dobby and he became her subservient boy toy. They are very happy together and want nothing to do with the rest of us. I feel like their landlord.
So what has my family learned by having pets? I have learned how to inject a snake with anti-biotics through a needle. Right between the scales! It's amazing what a mother can do when her son had to put his snake on a gurney at the animal hospital (yes...that's right...snake on a gurney) because it's mouth was staying open as if it was in respiratory failure. As well, my son has learned how much parents can nag ("Did you feed Ricki? Did you feed Ricki? Did you feed Ricki? Did you defrost a mouse? Did you.....etc.") Still, we have learned that, on the whole (antibiotics aside!) a snake is the easiest pet to care for.
What else have I learned from my pets? Only a visit to the exotic pet animal hospital will net enthusiastic comments over the beauty of your pet snake. Birds poop about once every half a second. Never send your mother a letter in the mail with a shedded snake skin stating that "Ricki sends her love." (Yeah...I'm not getting into that one.) Nobody can ignore you as effectively as a bird can, and yes...I still want a cat.
Still, we have what we have and we must love them because they are all alive and well.
Do you have animal lovers in your house? I have to be careful what I show my ultra-squeamish-yet animal-loving-daughter, however, perhaps you have a potential veterinarian in your family? If so, send young children to Animal Doc , a page for kids that was created by University of Georgia's College of Veterinary Medicine. HealthyPet.com offers free articles for kids about pet care. For older kids who are considering higher education in veterinary medicine, send them to FutureVet.
Does your family have a pet for which you all go bonkers? Why not start a page for them at You Pet? We just started one for Ricki Redrock. Let us know! Ricki will friend you!
February 02, 2011
Say It's Not So! The Demise of the Bookstore
"Smell that?" I ask my kids each time we walk into a bookstore.
They nod--and, I assume, think, "Here we go again!"
"Books!" I say. "There is nothing like the smell of a bookstore."
And I mean it. For years, there was nothing better than walking into a major or minor bookstore with a gift card or some self-imposed seal of approval for spending a set amount on books. I was introduced to Barnes & Noble as a little kid by my Aunt Liz. I was like Lucy walking through the back of the wardrobe and into Narnia .
Only now...I'm not so sure I, or my children, will be enjoying the bliss that is spending hours in a bookstore in the future. If it's not bad enough that the thought makes me feel crummy, I feel even worse because I am part of the "problem":
I have a Kindle.
I LOOOOOOOVE my Kindle.
IMHO, e-readers are ideal for carrying around novels. I can finish one book in a series and instantly begin the next with a quick download. It makes me feel like a happily-spoiled-rotten-brat and like I'm getting one over on someone or something. That said, if I want to read a big, full-color, coffee-table sort of book, then no deluxe, color, e-reader will do. Therefore, the color Nook or the iPad would not do much for me. (Note to husband: I wouldn't use the iPad as a reader for reading full-color, photo-driven books....but, that doesn't mean I don't WANT one!) In other words, I want to hold that sort of book in my hands, turn the pages, feel the glossy pictures.
So, where does that leave me and other folks who think similarly? I mean have you noticed that, lately, going to a certain big-name bookstore to buy a book will cost you more than ordering on-line (including shipping!) from that same company? Obviously, they want to close their stores down over time, knowing the future is all on-line.
So, it comes down to that old saying, "You can't have your cake and eat it, too." I can love my KIndle and I can love perusing books shelves in a store for hours, lounging in a chair and/or having coffee from the in-store cafe while I look through the books...but, eventually, I won't be able to have both.
Where will we basque in all things books? Will libraries pick up the slack? If so, they need to start letting me bring in my coffee. Should we create "Book Bars?"
If anyone has any thoughts about life for bibliophiles in the future, please share! Now, I think I'll go buy a book at the little, independent, bookstore in town. It's been a while...and I feel guilty.
Groundhog Day Fun!
Happy Groundhog Day! While the groundhogs in my part of the country probably don't want to stick their noses out in the icy, frigid air, I'm sure there are some out there who have already seen or not seen their shadows. I haven't heard much about who has or has not, but I suspect that the media is trying to be very hush-hush on the whole deal. Why? Well, in my area, you really don't want to talk about 6 more weeks of winter...the ramifications could be disastrous!
Anyway, the go-to site for all things Groundhog Day is the Official Website of The Punxsutawney Groundhog Club. The site has fun facts and e-cards you can send around.
Oooh! Just heard that Staten Island's groundhog predicted early spring!! Yippee!
December 04, 2010
November 24, 2010
Inventing Creativity
They say necessity is the mother of invention. If that's true, then imagination must be the father. I have found that the best way to get the gears turning in little minds is to issue a challenge. Here are a few ideas for inspiring "hows" and "whys" to pop into your child's head: PHOTO: freephotosbank
1) Wrapping Paper: Make your own wrapping paper. Use a roll of brown or white paper and unroll it as far as you can across a protected section of floor. Or, if you need to wrap small gifts, just use smaller sheets of paper. Challenge your child to come up with objects that, when dipped in paint, cover the paper with a thematic design. Try pre-shaped or scissor-cut sponges or sheets of foam. Carve a design into half of a potato. Use handprints, footprints or fingerprints. Use random textures such as wrinkled paper, crepe paper, sandpaper, feathers.
One year, we wanted to make a lot of wrap for Christmas. So, we set up the kitchen for most of the day and let a stretch of paper dry before returning to stamp more.
2) Challenge your kid to come up with a new variety of oatmeal, cake, cookie, or party mix. You don't have to actually prepare the food (although that's an extra bit of fun!) Have them draw their food invention. What would the ingredients be? What would they call it? Who would the new variety be aimed at?
We arrived at Monster Cookies one day. Your basic chocolate chip cookie recipe with raspberry swirled in. Not to mention...chocolate chunks, chocolate chips, peanut butter chips, M&Ms, and white chocolate chips. Sugar coma? You bet.
3) Do you have a Sci-fi, aviation, or nautical fanatic at home? Challenge them to imagine the layout of a ship or plane they admire (i.e.: The Millenium Falcon, an aircraft carrier) or of a vehicle they invent from scratch. What would the floor plan look like?
4) Do the above using a home, castle, mall, or amusement park as a model. Many kids enjoy the prospects brought about by a large sheet of paper and a variety of colored pencils. However, if the sight of a blank page intimidates them, draw the shell and a few areas for them to fill in.
5) Check out By Kids For Kids--an opportunity for older and younger kids to get involved with inventing. Various companies offer challenges and prizes for kids' ideas.
6) Look into this great book for older kids:
Kids Inventing! A Handbook for Young Inventors
November 23, 2010
October 11, 2010
October 09, 2010
Bully Bash
The following post topic breaks from the typical material found on "Nuggets of Knowledge." However, the topic often plays a large role in education. Granted, I'm on a bit of a rant, so I hope you'll forgive me.
I have a confession to make: I want my kid to slug someone. Not enough to cause real injury. Just enough to relay the message, "Don't mess with me again." I'm done.
This is not me. I'm not a violent person. In fact, years of martial arts teaches me restraint--not to use those skills unless absolutely necessary. Even more years of Methodist upbringing and teaching have given me a very pro-peace mentality. However, after almost 7 years of watching my son struggle with bullies, after getting almost no help from school during the grade school years, and after trying everything to arm this kid with the ability to deflect the bullies (i.e.: role playing, therapy, etc.), I've lost the ability to be reasonable when it comes to kids who have not been taught things such as tolerance and civility. It's not that I want the bully to suffer, either. I just want my child to feel empowerment for a change. I want him to get the message that others do not have the right to dictate his self worth. My less-than-athletic, entertainment driven, sci-fi loving, creative kid has the right to sit where he wants at lunch without the football team claiming tables, deciding where others can sit. He should be able to walk the hallways without being mocked.
But, the truth--which, I often forget in the heat of anger--is that my son's self empowerment needs to come from a more productive place than punching someone out. And judging by the fact that, after all these years, he still refuses to slug someone, maybe he understands that better than I do. Finally, in the 6th grade, he is starting to feel empowered at school. Through his stop-motion Lego videos, he is gaining some respect--especially after he created one for a health project and the whole class saw it. Apparently, bullies are capable of being impressed from time to time. And if they aren't, kids who don't bully, but stay clear of the victims for fear of being bullied themselves, can be brought out of their shells. Yesterday, I heard a phrase from my son that has never come out of his mouth before: "I have never felt this great about school!" Part of what has worked is the support he has gotten in his new middle school. An amazing guidance counselor has helped him to reach out with his talents, opening doors to newly available activities in school. She has given both of us hope and clearly realizes the importance of her job.
My kid has had a self-esteem boost outside his home--one to add to a collection that will, hopefully, grow. Three weeks ago we were in the guidance counselor's office trying to find a solution to constant mocking. Today, we are hesitantly moving forward. Grades are improving. Enthusiasm for school activities has increased. I had gotten to the point where I thought schools had absolutely no power over fixing bully issues. While I still don't hold much stock in "anti-bully programs" I can see how schools can help kids who have trouble fitting in by looking closely at the individual and creating options. His guidance counselor is soooo getting a great holiday gift! Love her!
Some say, that as long as a child gets love and acceptance at home, they will turn out fine. My own husband falls into this category. I wish I could believe that. All we have to do is look at the news lately to see that is not always the case. Teen and childhood suicides due to bullying is rampant. I had no idea there were so many suicides this past September alone! I guess the question is, "Exactly how much self esteem does it take to prevent something so horrible?" How many heartbroken parents talk about how they, "had no idea?" I refuse to be one of those poor parents and therefore I am constantly on alert. I have learned from them and feel for them. Being constantly on alert for signs your child can't take the heat anymore and fearful that you will miss something is no way to live. But, what other choice is there until we know exactly what it takes to buffer our children against the typical bully? I have a feeling the answer is different for each child.
And, while we're at it--why are there so many bullies these days? Many ideas surface through the recent heavy media coverage. Are we just paying attention to it more? Could it be that the cyberbullying techniques employed today give a faceless license to bully so that those who haven't enough nerve for face-to-face confrontations can attack with ease? Could the overscheduled, overstructured nature of childhood today be to blame for taking kids away from learning to socialize amongst each other in an unstructured environment? I read a report the other day about how the average bully these days is not the "problem" kid, the troubled kid, the kid with a lousy famiy situation and parents who leave them to the wolves. Instead, we see more of the so-called "bright, well-adusted kids" who are clickier than ever with others, yet somehow need to take those who are different down a notch or two. Now, the concept of the "bully jock" is nothing new. However, maybe so many kids being started in regimented football leagues beginning in 2nd grade is giving them more self-confidence than they should have so early. I know, I know: I'm not a sports parent. That's not a popular idea. True, we've tried baseball, done soccer, done basketball and nothing stuck. So maybe I'm biased. But, when the majority of the football team in my son's grade calls non-football players "losers," what am I supposed to think?
I have my own theory (please keep in mind I haven't the slighest bit of a psychology degree): It's a combination of the two aforementioned ideas. On average, parents lead far more hectic days than in generations past. Many children are with their parents less, either due to both parents working and/or countless activities where one or two other adults are leading kids in a group. Translation? Many parents are not setting aside time to teach kids the nuances of kind, civilized behavior, while teachers and activity leaders realistically do not have the resources to individually impact each child in their care to the same degree. Being a working, under pressure mom myself, I feel it. There's never enough time in the day for everything. I battle to find those teachable moments, never feel I find them enough, and whenever I do find them, you can bet I'm overlooking some other area of life I ought to be tending to. (Please don't ask to see if the beds are made, if my checkbook is balanced, or if my laundry is done.)
Then, I wonder: Maybe time isn't it at all. Maybe something happened during my generation's upbringing to make a higher number of today's parents negligent in communicating the golden rule. Either way, when a parent gets mad at me because her son was sent to the principal with a group of kids who tormented my son and pushed him into goose poop, something is wrong. Ooops. I forgot: She claimed the punishment was unjust because, and I quote, "All he did was laugh." Then I'm expected to feel bad for her poor little guy who didn't sleep for two nights because he was so afraid of the principal, the one time the administrator properly intervened. Well, maybe I'd feel sorry for this mom's two nights of no sleep if I didn't have to battle three weeks of tears (my son's and mine) struggling to get to school each morning afterward. Did it ever occur to this mom that her son might have actually learned a lesson that day? If my son had laughed at a kid being bullied and I found out about it, I would have taken him to the principal myself. But, maybe I'm just a raw nerve. Maybe I'm just pissed off from going through the same garbage I went through in school all over again by watching my kid suffer through it. You know what? Getting bullied doesn't build character. It builds a life of flitting between constantly second-guessing every move you make for fear someone will call you on it and sometimes deliberately doing the opposite of what people expect simply because you want the empowerment of feeling contrary. Know what else? As far as school bullying being a right of passage, as some would suggest, many childhood diseases were a right of passage generations ago, but vaccines were found for those.
One thing many researchers agree on: Decent behavior is not merely something children learn by example. That's only half of the equation. The other half involves INTENTIONALLY teaching children that those who are off-beat, learning disabled, too poor to buy new clothes, non-athletic, have unconventional interests, are same-sex oriented, are shy, have an unusual body feature, cannot speak a particular language, worship differently, come from a currently un-popular country, use an "odd" mannerism, dress differently, or can't hold a "typical" conversation are no less worthy of breathing the same air and of being treated with dignity and respect.
Anyway, whether you think my ideas are on the money or way off in left field, bullying is a huge issue and it's time people deal with it. I know I haven't really offered any answers for those who seek help on the bully front, but if I had anything concrete, I would have. The best I can say from experience is, bolster, bolster, bolster your child's talents and good traits. Let them know how important they are to your family. Yet, that might not be enough. Be on alert. For more takes on the ins and outs of bully issues, the following resources are excellent for information and guidance:
- Michele Borba - Love this lady! I have interviewed her twice in the past and she is so enthusiastic about her work. Her book, Building Moral Intelligence (Jossey-Bass) is my favorite parenting book. In it, she provides realistic tactics for intentionally teaching virtues such as tolerance and honesty.
- www.bullying.org
- The Bully Suicide Project
- Cyber Bully Help
- Checklist: Are you a cyber bully? A nice list of cyber faux pas to show internet-active kids.
- Education.com's bully page. Packed with information.
Thanks for indulging me. We now return you to our regular scheduled bloggering. : )
September 30, 2010
They Found It: A Planet Much Like Earth!
ARTIST RENDERING: NASA / Lynette Cook
There is exciting news for science-minded kids--or any kids for that matter. Actually, I find it rather trippy: Scientists from the Carnegie Institution for Science have found a potentially habitable planet they believe to be much like Earth. Not too hot...not too cold! Not too near. Not too far--from its star, Gliese 581, that is. Such a planet is often referred to as a "Goldilocks planet" since all the conditions seem to be right to support life.
See what NASA says about the find and what the Carnegie Institution for Science reports.
So, are we talking extra-terrestrials? Scientists would be thrilled enough to find evidence of water or even mold at this point. But, who knows, really? Certainly, it will take a long time to figure all of that out. After all, it would take generations to get there by space craft.
Currently called Gliese 581g, I'd like to think they can come up with a better name for the newly discovered orb. Any thoughts? I'll have to see what my kids come up with.
September 28, 2010
September 27, 2010
September 24, 2010
September 21, 2010
"I Can See Jupiter From My House!"
Amid the rush of homework, karate, dinner, and a bunch of school notes to fill out, we almost forgot to look for Jupiter tonight! But, hubby got out our telescope--which, is no great shakes. It's a small, old, cheesy, unstable thing. In which case, I suppose, is why the view had a great many shakes! Still, at one point we think we saw the faintest red stripe near the top of Jupiter. Saw some of its moons, too. At least, we think we did. There is some debate as to whether we saw moons or dust on the lens!
We woke up poor Kyle, who, at 10:45 was fast asleep. I knew the little one wouldn't wake up no matter how much poking or prodding we gave her. But, we managed to rouse Kyle and he stumbled out to the backyard to get a glimpse.
The photo below is of Jupiter. Needless to say, we are not photographers.
But, here's a passable shot of the moon!
Anyway, for those of you who did look for Jupiter with a telescope, what were we seeing? Jupiter's moons or dust on the lens?
December 2014
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